When things start to lose meaning,
I don’t give up and just give in to sleeping.
Days end with broken feelings,
And I fail as a mellenial to keep on dreaming.
So this is what I do
Scribble my psychology on a page or two.
But nobody cares a dime what I write
Nobody cares whether my world is dull or filled with light
Popping pills never end in levitation
But sometimes it’s a greater consolation
And then comes the night where a black curtain sticks around the world
Where I plummet into that den of darkness
And there I find a man called Edicius
Who wants to shake hands with me as a sign of respect
And these days, its all about shaking hands
Tossing that respect around when you can
Concluding in deals which will benefit no man
And finally figuring out where you stand
And as midnight passes
As I sit with Edicius and talk about my future prospects
As he invites me to venture with him
And I keep declining politely
Because all I can think is that there is no sanity in that sin
As time ticks
As sleep leaves
And as dawn finally begins to enter
I should by my own decide
Whether to let Edicius take me
Or keep on for one more day
For one last time
And thankfully until now
I’ve had the sanity to come back
Because everytime I smile at Edicius and almost say ‘yes.’
I thankfully have the sanity to remember
That his name is Suicide spelled backwards
And so I’m still here
Obsessing again over how things keep losing meaning
Maybe one of these days I’ll be gone
Switched out like a light
On the verge of a beginning of darkness
Or dimmed out like a twilight
Only to wake back up like a dawn